Movie Title Smooshes

I recently came across a list of movie title conflations we must have made up a while back. I'm sure many of them are not original to me and My Associate, but they are here reproduced for your amusement (?). For the more literary minded, I heartily recommend The Man Who Melted Jack Dann.

• Ordinary Cat People
• There's Something About Mary Shelley's Frankenstein
• Sky Captain and the Saddest Music in the World of Tomorrow
• Don't Cry It's Only Mad Max III: Beyond Thunderdome
• Henry V Element
• Futureshocker
• Fantastic Four Weddings and a Funeral
• Look Who's Talking Apocalypse Now
• O Super Mario Brothers, Where Art Thou
• Serenity and Sympathy
• Bring It On Golden Pond
• The First Wives' Fight Club
• My Life So Far and Away
• Evil Dead Again
• Best in Showgirls
• Creepshowgirls
• The Rocky Horror Picture Show V
• Blade 3 Men and a Baby
• All the President's Men Don't Leave
• And Justice for All the Pretty Horses
• They Shoot All the Pretty Horses, Don't They
• My Little Vampire Pony: The Movie
• The Man Who Knew Two Little Women
• Clara's Hart's War
• The Unbearable Lightness of Being John Malkovich
• Any Unforgiven Sunday
• Sunday in the Park with the Madness of King George
• Dr. Strange Brew
• Citizen Ruthless People
• Kramer Vs. Alien Vs. Predator Vs. Kramer (vs. Freddy vs. Jason vs Earth Vs. the Flying Saucers)
• Jesus Christ Super Star Wars
• Space Hunter: Adventures in Babysitting Across the Forbidden Zone

When Xoanon Was In [REDACTED] Lands

I was at the house I grew up in with My Associate, my mom and dad. A few friends were in town for a concert and were staying at the house. They stopped by in a van before the show. Then, suddenly about 100-200 of their closest friends also dropped by, unannounced. We turned off the lights and hid upstairs, quite perturbed at the presumption. Eventually the cops showed up in riot gear and put up two chain-link fences to hold back the crowds. The officer in charge informed me that due to a screw up whereby they'd also blocked off the other ends of the street, they'd have to take down the fences closest to our house to move the crowds out. I replied "Under _no circumstances_ let my people go!"

Beef Stew Recipe

• 2lbs lean stew beef, trimmed and cut ~1-2" cubes
  
• [use more or less of the below as you like, all together veggies are enough to fill an 8 cup measure]
  
  
  
  • 3-4 large Carrots peeled and chopped
    
  • 5-6 medium red Potatoes - quartered
    
  • 3-4 stalks Celery, chopped,
    
  • ~1 cup chopped onion
    
  
  
• 2 8oz cans tomato sauce
  
• 1 cup hot water, 1 beef bouillon cube optional
  
• 1/2 tablespoon thyme
  
• 1 tablespoon dried basil
  
• 1/4 tablespoon black pepper
  

In a paper bag or flat Tupperware container, add 1tbsp flour and a portion
of the beef at a time, shaking to coat.
Remove coated beef to platter, sprinkle with black pepper to taste.
In heavy kettle or pot, heat 2 tablespoons of vegetable oil.
Brown beef over low heat in oil.
When brown, add tomato sauce, water/bouillon and spices.
Simmer 45min-1hr at medium-to-low heat, stirring occasionally.
Add vegetables and enough water to cover.
Simmer until vegetables are done to taste, ~45 minutes.
Taste after ~30 min and add additional spices as needed.